Vapid Cunts
Sometimes you walk around the city and you see these women. They’re kind of hot in a fake kind of way, tons of makeup covering their used natural appearance, all dressed up to the 9′s, strutting around full of diva attitude. You can hear the drum roll of their ridiculously high heels clanging against the pavement from half a mile away. And as a properly horny male you sometimes wonder what would it be like be with them? Would it be any fun?
Last night I found out the answer. One of my good friends came to town and among other people two of her older sister’s friends showed up. We were chilling in a fancy hotel room pre-gaming before hitting the town when they walked in. Immediately taking over the room with their annoying, obnoxiously loud babbling they superficially met everyone there not even for a moment hiding the fact that this crowd was not up to sniff. That decision to judge people as not worthy of their esteemed company before having even a short conversation with any of them was painfully obvious. Since the people they’ve just met were quite obviously not worthy of their attention they proceeded to sit in a small circle ignoring everyone else, continuing to babble about nonsense like “Oh my god, I love your shoes!” and taking pictures of themselves with their mobile phones, fixing their hair and taking more pictures. Then discussing how the pictures they just took came out. One of them was also constantly making her obviously well rehearsed “picture taking face” and complaining every time it didn’t come out right and wanting to retake. The rest of the conversation among them consisted of discussing their previous nights out and looking at pictures from those historical moments on the mobile version of their Facebook accounts.
They were the walking stereotypes of completely superficial, empty, vapid cunts whose whole world revolves around themselves and anything, even by accident, entering from outside that self imposed bubble is immediately deemed as weird and completely unworthy of their attention. Their total lack of self awareness resulted in making comments like, “Oh my god, I don’t have any friends at work because… no offense, but they’re all NOT FROM AROUND HERE! Foreigners… I mean what am I supposed to talk to a bunch of Russian and Indian dudes?!” (cue a look similar to the one you’d expect if they were forced to eat someone else’s vomit) and “Oh my god, I went to Thailand for a week and never got food poisoning! Can you imagine? Thailand!”
Sometimes you watch light summer comedies full of stereotypes like these and you think that they’re terribly exaggerated for entertainment purposes. “People like that can’t possibly exist in the real world!”, you think to yourself. As I found out last night they DO indeed exist. So the next time you’re horny walking down the street and you see another man with a woman like this and just for a moment you get a little jealous and think to yourself, “Wow, I’d love to be him” remember this. It only takes two minutes of their presence in your vicinity for you to feel like you’d like to give them an accidental push out the window of a fancy hotel room. Located on the 26th floor.
